From our pocket book of top tips for inspiring leaders, Tip 77 – Invest in your emotional bank accounts
“Transactional Trevor” who only dealt with people when he needed something from them. He always came from the point of view of “what was in it for me?” Very Transactional. The rest the time he tended to ignore them and indeed sometimes he was quite disdainful of other people cutting them dead or not even making eye contact as he was too busy focusing on what mattered to him.
On the times he did suddenly switch on the charm and engage with people was when he needed something from them but this was a unidimensional and unbalanced relationship. Indeed “relationship” would probably the wrong word it was just a transaction for him.
It wasn’t working for him – I encouraged him to apply tip 77 – to invest in your emotional bank accounts. One by One he spent time with all his key stakeholders and genuinely became interested in them their life story what made them tick and build those relationships up in the good times when he didn’t need anything from them but he was just investing in the relationships.
So then when times were tough if he did ask for a favour or some help or some advice he’d already topped up the emotional bank account with them and he could draw from it but if he’d only been transactional, Then his emotional bank accounts with them would become overdrawn and they would be resentful and unlikely to help him. they liked him and respected the fact that he was genuinely interested.
He was more a “Trusted Trevor” and other people are now far more willing to trust him. Sometimes he built up relationships over a period of many months until one day he found himself in a difficult corner and needed help and these people are now genuinely willing to help him whereas before they left him to it and from their point of view this is a completely different relationship. It was no longer toxic – instead it was healthy.
So invest time and effort to build up your own emotional bank accounts with the key people you need to work with and live with.